Why You Worry and Feel Anxious Even When Nothing Is Wrong

Isn’t it strange how you can worry and feel anxious even when nothing is actually going wrong? Your bills are paid. Your health is fine. There’s no immediate threat or crisis. And yet, there’s still this quiet tension humming in the background. Almost like your body didn’t get the memo that things are okay.

This used to confuse me because I thought constant worrying and anxiety were only supposed to show up when life was falling apart, or when something was clearly wrong. But for a lot of us, worry shows up when life is objectively stable.

So in this video, I’m going to walk you through why this happens, along with one powerful mental framework that has helped me stop worrying, regain control over where my attention goes, and calm my nervous system instead of staying stuck in negative thought loops.

So let’s start off by addressing the concept of worry. The core of worry comes from uncertainty plus a desire for control. When something matters to you, your mind tries to reduce risk by mentally simulating outcomes. It asks questions like, what if this fails, what if I regret this, or what if I’m not ready?

The mind is trying to close the gap between where you are now and a future you can’t fully control. When that gap feels threatening, worry is what fills it. Just think about it. Worry is not something you were born with. It’s a habit that you developed over time as a protection mechanism. It’s a learned habit. The problem is that worry doesn’t actually resolve the fear of uncertainty. It just keeps you thinking about it, which creates an endless thought loop.

And if you continue worrying for long enough, this becomes a learned behavior that becomes familiar. 

For me, worry showed up as a mental fixation around wanting security. Job stability. Financial security. Future-proofing my life. I wanted buffers, options, and the ability to retire early, even though I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. And to be fair, a lot of good came from that. I worked hard. I saved. I invested. And I planned. From the outside looking in, it seemed like the responsible and disciplined thing to do. 

But internally, it was being driven by a scarcity mindset that had turned my worry into anxiety. It stemmed from me not trusting that things would work out unless I stayed alert. So without realizing it, I unintentionally trained myself to internalize calm as being irresponsible.

And here’s the ironic part. Even when things in my life improved, my worry still stayed. That’s when I started becoming more aware and seeing things more clearly. Even when my circumstances had improved, my anxiousness did not. Every time I hit a goal or milestone, my mind quietly moved the goalpost. I thought more savings would mean more peace. More security would mean more calm. But my mind was never at rest.

Here’s the thing. Worry feels useful because it creates the illusion of doing something. It feels proactive, responsible, and even productive, as if your mind is problem-solving. Worry can feel like planning, but without a resolution. Worry also feels like vigilance, where staying alert can make you believe it will stop you from being caught off guard. There’s also reinforcement happening because worrying reduces the feeling of uncertainty temporarily, even if nothing changes externally.

Mentally rehearsing scenarios basically gives the mind a false sense of control. So what ends up happening is your nervous system starts to associate worry with safety. Not because it is actually safe, but because it feels familiar. And over time, calm starts to feel foreign, and worry becomes the baseline. 

Early on, the pattern usually looks like this. Worry leads to anxiety. But later on, the loop flips. Anxiety creates worry, which creates more anxiety. And the distinction matters because worry lives in the mind, while anxiety shows up in the body. When your mind is time traveling into the future, or drifting beyond what’s right in front of you, that’s not the problem.

The problem is that your attention gets trapped in these negative thought loops, which not only robs you of your peace, time, and mental energy, but also keeps your body in a constant state of fight or flight.

By the way, if you’re ready to stop overthinking and reclaim your mental clarity, I’ve put together a free ebook called “Don’t Overthink It.” It’s a simple guide that helps you understand the root cause of overthinking and gives you actionable strategies to build confidence in your decision-making. So grab a copy using the link in the description below. 

From a neuroscience perspective, here’s why this happens. Your nervous system doesn’t speak logic. It responds to signals. When your thoughts keep projecting into multiple possible futures, your body reacts as if those futures are already happening. That can show up as: 

This doesn’t happen because danger is actually present. It happens because the mind imagines it vividly enough. The brain isn’t great at distinguishing between real threats from rehearsed ones. And the more often you rehearse fear, the more familiar that state becomes. So over time, low-level tension starts to feel normal, and calm starts to feel unfamiliar. That’s when people say things like, “I don’t know how to relax.” It’s not that they can’t relax. It’s that their nervous system has forgotten what a calm and neutral state feels like. 

This is where mindfulness stops being an abstract idea and becomes a very practical mental strategy. Think of mindfulness as a tool that helps bring your attention back to the present moment. When your attention comes back to what’s in the here and now, it gives your body the ability to register that nothing urgent is actually happening, so your nervous system gets a different signal. 

Most fear today isn’t physical. It’s psychological. Fear of not having enough. Making enough. Being enough. And the body reacts because it responds to perceived threat, not just objective risk.

Here’s how you can think about it. Thoughts are how the brain talks, and emotions are how the body listens. That's why anxiety shows up in the body, even though it starts with a thought. A thought sends a signal and the body reacts. When those thoughts repeat without action or resolution, it causes the body to stay switched on. Worry feels like activity, but it isn’t. So it spirals.

Action on the other hand is different. When you take action, even if it’s a small action, your subconscious is paying attention. It watches what you do and registers it. Action essentially sends a signal that says, I’m responding. I’m capable. And I’m not stuck. That signal alone is what helps to start calming and reprogramming your nervous system.

This is where the circle of control becomes extremely useful, because it explains why most people continue to excessively worry, and how to interrupt that process. The circle of control is an idea that comes from Stephen Covey, the author of one of my favorite books, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

And in this framework it illustrates three circles that quietly shape how much stress or calm you feel on a daily basis. Your circle of concern. Your circle of influence. And your circle of control. Most anxiety comes from spending too much time in the wrong circle, merely because it is the one where you don’t actually have leverage.

The outer ring is your circle of concern. These are things you might care about, but can’t personally do much about. Thinking about them feels important, but it doesn’t change anything. It just keeps your body tense. This can include things like: 

I’m sure you can think of someone you know who gets riled up talking about what’s happening in the news, but doesn’t have the ability to impact these events. The thing is: you can stay informed if you want to. But living here all day doesn’t necessarily make you safer or more prepared. It just keeps your nervous system on high alert.

Then there’s your circle of influence. These are the things you cannot directly control, but you have the ability to influence and steer the direction of through your actions. This includes things like: 

In this ring you can’t directly control anything, but you can influence and shape them through your time, actions, and effort. 

At the center is your circle of control. This is the smallest circle, and it’s where you have the power to create the most change when it comes to reducing worry. And the reason is simple, your circle of control contains all the things you have complete agency to directly control through your actions. This includes things like: 

If you’re worrying about something that is within your circle of control, then action is the anecdote to reduce this type of worry. The real shift is learning to catch yourself when your mind drifts into living in your circle of concern and gently pulling your attention back inward. When you practice spending less time obsessing over what you can’t change, and focusing your attention on what you can control, this decision alone changes your perspective and how your body feels.

Looking back on my personal experience with worry and anxiety, I realized that it wasn’t because I was failing to progress. What I was doing was failing to register progress because my mind was always dwelling on the future, which was in my circle of concern. My attention was always living in what was next, not in what was already here. I rarely paused to celebrate small wins or notice what had improved. And that gap is what created suffering for me.

If your mind is always in the future, the present never feels sufficient.

There’s always another milestone, another upgrade, and another thing to chase. But practicing gratitude and being mindful of the present moment is what creates a calm sense of fulfillment. It brings awareness back to what already exists and shows your nervous system that things are okay right now. That’s why many of us unintentionally postpone peace, because it gets tied to some future condition that just keeps getting pushed forward.

So if you’ve made it this far into my video, I just want to say that scarcity isn’t always about what you lack. It’s about what you perceive to be lacking.

Anxiety often appears because of the imagined threats and sense of scarcity that never gets resolved. And the remedy is to take action and to also do the inner work. Focusing on what you can control restores your agency. Influence gives you direction. While concern is something you can acknowledge, without having to live in it.

Just remember that anxiety doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It usually means your attention has drifted into fear without movement. When you can repeatedly bring your awareness back to what you can control and take action, it creates a sense of certainty that gets reinforced because you are now engaging with life in the present moment. 

So thanks so much for watching. My name is Dexter Lam, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Bye Bye